This Time
by Sofia Remus
Summary: So many lives could have been saved if the world had just stood up to Kira. I don't understand… why do people act this way? Why did people follow someone who killed so many? Why did the world not take a stand against a mass murderer? Why did I stand aside


Disclaimer: I do not own death note

Chapter 1: Repeating

* * *

Kira is gone…after all these years…

There are people mourning the death of their god and people celebrating his downfall…

But why do they mourn the loss of a psychopath with a god complex? A human who has murdered thousands and used fear mongering to keep them in line? Yet…

why do the others celebrate the death of another human? Taking joy in the death of another as if it was okay, as if it was great that another was killed.

They all are focused on Kira's death, but everyone seems to have forgotten those that he killed.

Kira killed men on live television, men that were innocent. Why did his followers ignore this?

Why did those who opposed what Kira was doing not stand up?

So many lives could have been saved if the world had just stood up to Kira.

I don't understand… why do people act this way?

Why did people follow someone who killed so many?

Why did the world not take a stand against a mass murderer?

Why did I stand aside?

Why did I stand aside when I could have helped? When I knew who Kira was and did nothing? Why did I act like it was just an anime I was watching or a manga I was reading? I knew that it was real but continued to act as if it wasn't. I saw the main characters… no, not characters, people. I knew what was going to happen and that I could prevent it. But I did nothing to help them.

Why did I stand aside the first time around?

* * *

You may wondering why I use words like manga or anime to describe what Kira did to this world? The answer is simple. Because to me this originally was a manga I read, an anime I watched. I had collected figures, wall scrolls, and other merchandise. Hell I even used Kira's final laugh as my ring tone. But then I went to bed one night and woke up in Japan. In a younger body and unable to speak a lick of Japanese. The police found me and took me to a station to try to find out what had happened to me.

They looked for my parents but couldn't find any trace of them. My body didn't look old enough for them to believe I was the age I claimed I was or that I was able to take care of myself, so I ended up going to a foster home. I was an older child so the chances of getting adopted were already against me before my inability to speak Japanese or my obvious foreign heritage was taken into account. I didn't care though. Because I thought it was all a dream. I _still_ think that it is all a dream.

Just that it is a really long one that I have yet to wake up from.

I grew up again. I was never adopted but I never went to an orphanage either. I went to school, learned the language but didn't take anything seriously. It was just a dream. When it was time for college I only applied to one University, Todai. I blew off studying and as a result did not pass the entrance exam the first year and became a first year Ronin. I got a job and studied a lot that year. I took the practice tests and did reasonably well on them. At this time criminals had started to die of heart attacks but I had not paid much attention to them. Heart problems are not uncommon.

The next entrance exam, I passed. I became a first year student at Todai. But then I went to my entrance ceremony and noticed something strange. There were two students who had tied for first place, two students who looked like the characters from my favorite anime. Students who were introduced by the same names used in the entrance ceremony in the manga and anime.

Yagami Light and Hideki Ryuga.

I couldn't believe what I saw or heard. I ended up spacing out and missing most of the ceremony. I ended up going home without even trying to catch a glimpse of them. I went on with my life, my dream, and did nothing as I saw news report after news report of people dying because of Kira. I did nothing but try to finish school. Try to get a job. Live my life while ignoring what was going on around me. Criminals died, the world began to crumble under fear of Kira and I ignored it all to wonder on how I could pay for the rent the next month.

This went on for years and then… Kira died. Then it hit me. I could have helped. I could have helped stopped this. I could have helped prevent thousands of deaths. So while people mourned or celebrated about the death of Kira I just… wondered around Tokyo feeling guilty. I could have helped even if I didn't do anything with the investigation, I could have helped. I could have avoided everyone that had to do with the investigation and still helped. All I would have had to do was dig up the original death note before Yagami Light and I could have stopped most of the madness.

That night I drunk myself into a stupor and collapsed on my bed.

Which brings us to this morning. Where once again I woke up in a younger body in the exact same place I woke up the first time. The only thing different was that I could speak Japanese. The police found me and searched for my parents again but were as successful this time around as the last time. I was placed in the same foster home and for the third time I grew up. I still goofed off but did better at school this time around. Most likely because I could finish the homework without spending hours trying to decipher it.

I still only applied for Todai, but this time I studied for the entrance exam. Unfortunatly I failed that exam AGAIN. I once again was a first year Ronin. I once again spent a year working and studying and I once again made it into Todai. This time with a slightly higher score because it WAS the exact same test.

The opening ceremony went the same way only this time I paid attention as Yagami Light and the man I knew was L spoke. This time around I was going to help stop Kira.

Even if I still thought it was a dream.


End file.
